Hello hello!!

wow what a busy time ive had, where do i start!!

we still have our christmas tree up, slack aye, lol every time i look at it i think 'i really should take this down', Darryl reckons leave it up till next christmas!

I have started my own business, mostly selling cloth nappies that i have made and designed by myself, my aim is to keep cloth nappying affordable, as it can get up to $40 for one nappy, then you need to add postage costs on top of that, wayyyy too expensive if you ask me! so my nappies will all be under $20 (inserts $5 extra) patterned, plain, unique (some of them), im busy writing my website at the moment, and will let you know when it goes live so that you can have a look.

you can find my creations under username 'tahi_nappies' on trade me until my website is up and running

other than that ive just been busy doing kid stuff, Kaylees at kindy 3 mornings a week now which is great and she just loves it, Olivia is still not walking, she took her first step last week and hasnt done anything since lol, shes just taking her time, whats the bet that she will do it next week down at mums house!

I now have a diagnoses for my illness, they (the Drs) have diagnosed me with Bipolar2, there is some good information about it here if your interested. its good having a diagnoses as it means that there is something for all of us to work on and understand a bit more etc. its all good!

other than that, not up to much, doing heaps of sewing, heaps of website work and heaps of other stuff, but im loving it really, keeping really busy, there is always something for me to do!

oh and a little note about weightloss, im really not doing very well at all, im trying hard, and thats all i can do, but the numbers are starting to creep up again, i need to find the time to get out walking again, i will get there i just need to prioritise!

much love
xxx

weigh in time!

quick post, i will post properly later on, just letting you know i lost another 400g this week, im stoked, considering the boozy week i had, i was expecting a gain

onwards and upwards aye!! :)

xxx

Mandys boozy night - in pictures

we had a few friends over last night, all the boys did car shit while us girls sat around drinking, was great fun! im sure i said a few things to my neighbour, but i still cant remember what, hope it wasnt too embarressing!

but boyyyyy what a hangover today! the price to pay!! (and there is no way im going to add up last nights points lol i will just pay the price with a gain this week)

Heres my friend Mandys night - in pictures haha, as you can see she had great fun!!!!

weigh in time!

thanks for your comments on my nappies :) no i dont make those ones to sell as the pattern i use is a not for profit pattern, but i do have my own pattern that i make nappies out of that i can sell, just let me know what your after and how many and i will get busy :) hehe

i lost 600g at last nights weigh in, not as much as i had hoped for, but still a loss is a loss and i will take any loss that i can get!

just waiting for a friend to arrive, so only a short post today, but things are going all good, heres a couple of pics of Kaylee and Olivia :)

Nappies

ive been sewing up a storm lately, i was really lucky and for my birthday i got a snap press, so now i can put snaps on my nappies instead of using velcroe, GENIUS!

my favourite nappy has to be the chocolate pink bubbles minkee nappy, it is soooo soft and just devine, i cant wait to try it on Olivia when she wakes in the morning

honesty

I have to be honest about last nights weigh in, i was gutted, i KNOW its silly to feel this way, but i was expecting at least 2kg. so i was fuming, BUT i did do everything right, i ate well, i drank heaps and i exersized.

i thought long and hard about putting this on my blog, but as my blog is about my thoughts and feelings i thought i would be lying to myself if i didnt say how i felt.

The more i think about it, the more i am pleased with myself for my loss, it IS a great loss, i know that, i guess i talked myself into losing more, which is unrealistic.

when i got home from WW last night i felt like reaching for a chocolate bar, then i thought no, i will go for a walk instead, and thats what i did, i went for a brisk walk, took out my frustrations on the pavement and felt better for it, i treated myself to a Jarrah hot Chocolate when i got home (1.5 points with a bit of skim milk)

so all my thoughts and feelings have changed, i AM proud of my loss, it IS a good loss and i WILL continue to lose weight because i WILL continue walking, drinking water and eating right.

it just feels right

results....

i lost 1.7kg

bring on next week!

its weigh in day tonight!!

and im actually quite excited to see what i have lost, i KNOW that i have lost weight, i can feel it, i have been out walking every night and drinking a tonne of water, its all gotta be good for me right?

so i will be back on here later tonight after my weigh in to share my results, how exciting!!!

my computer shat itself yesterday, so i have lost all my email contacts, all my favourites, everything, so please send me an email if your someone who i email so i can save your address again! and please leave me a comment so i can go back to browsing other blogs, i have a few of my faves (but not all) saved on here but i havent updated it for a long time, so im missing some, leave me a comment and i will come visit you!!

my aim for this week is to be more supportive to you guys, you have all been so supportive for me and i just havent had the time to leave comments, so thats my goal, to find your blogs again and to leave you a comment!!!

i will be back tonight with my weigh in results, wish me luck!!!

Tuesday :)

Another good day to chalk up here, eating good, drinking heaps, im trying to eat some of my usual healthy foods, such as for breakfast i always have sultana bran and banana, so i have kept that up, it just means that im not doing such a drastic change and therefor im not finding it hard at all, i usually eat good meals, and its the snacks and after dinner treats that i have stopped, and the increased exersize that i have started, so hopefully it all works and then i will be happy!

the last 2 evenings have been lovely, we have been going to the beach and it is just devine there! the kids have really enjoyed playing in the water and sand, making sand castles and frollicking around outside, and the time of day that we go means that its not hot at all and we can all have a great time, today i decided to go for a walk along the beach and walked the length of it there and back, it felt good.

i havent decided what im going to have for dinner tonight, probably a chicken stirfry or similar, maybe bbq steak and salad.... hmmm decisions!!!

doing good :)

im pissing like a racehorse though!! the amount of water im going through is amazing, but its got to be good for me, im struggling to eat all my points, because im still breastfeeding it adds heaps of points and im struggling to eat them all, but hopefully i will show a good loss on Thursday! we made yummy crunchy chicken soft tortillas tonight, delish, i guessed the points because they arent in the book yet (they are a new thing) but hopefully they work out ok

ive been doing heaps of walking, Friday night, Sunday night, again tonight, and im going out again tomorrow night, my aim is to walk at least 5 nights a week, so heres hoping i will achieve my goal.

My friend Mandy has a blog too, shes on the weightloss train as well, so pop in and say hi to her and have a read of her struggles and achievements, shes an amazing woman and im proud to say she is such a good friend http://bigredmandz.blogspot.com/ is her website.

#23 Done!

it was my birthday on the 10th, so im now a very young 26! and every year for my birthday i get a crayfish for my present (spoilt aye!) so the other night me and my darling friend Mandy sat outside (ok we didnt have the music) and drank wine and ate crayfish, ohhh it was bliss! totally enjoyed it and cant wait till next year so i can do it again!!!

also on the 10th i went back to weight watchers, im joining with my SIL as we both need to lose a few pounds (ok on my part, more than a few!) i chose weight watchers for a few reasons, but mostly because i need the discipline of it, i need to really watch and moniter what i eat, because lately i have been eating like crap, treating food as comfort and treats rather than for fuel to keep me going, the depression, weight gain, tiredness are all contributing to a very unhealthy me, so its back to basics and hopefully i can stick to it for a lot longer than in the past.

so wish me luck!!

tonight is my birthday party, im SO looking foward to it, some good friends, lotsa laughs, drinks, food, i was initially a bit worried to start WW before my party, because of the extra calories i will consume tonight, however i thought that i cant put my life on hold at the same time as losing weight i have to enjoy myself, i just have to treat everything in moderation, make wise choices and (try) not to get too drunk :)

anyway thats me for now, i will be back at least weekly to share my losses and gains, hopefully more losses than gains at this point and time!!

xxx

Kaylees first Haircut

shes had her fringe trimmed before, but never a proper haircut, we think she looks so grown up, i just had to share!

Before:

and After:

Happy New Year!

Things are all good here, still trucking along, drinking too much and enjoying the holiday season :)

Heres some pics taken recently, enjoy!

sick

hi everyone :)

things have been really blah here for the past week, ive been pretty sick, vomiting and nausia and really bad sinus congestion, not fun! im still being careful about what i eat, but living on Fruju iceblocks, they seem to be one of the only things i can keep down!

can you believe that there is only 3 more sleeps until Christmas! yay! we have kept things really cheap this year because financials arent what they should be, but im sure the girls will have a wonderful day regardless of what little we have got them.

my Mum, her partner and my youngest sister are coming up today, just staying one night, but it will be great to see them, we wont be seeing them on Christmas day, as mum is working, so it will be great to catch up with them before Christmas. and the girls will love having them here too.

anyway this is probably my last post before Christmas, so i wish you and all your familys a very Merry, safe and Happy Christmas, may Santa treat you good!!

much love

xxx

ha haaaaaa!!!

i CAN do it!

today has been a great day, Sultana bran for breakfast, fruit salad for lunch, and meat and vege for dinner with strawberries (dont you love the fruit at this time of the year!) for dessert, ANDDD i did 40 minutes on my bike, im so stoked with myself and really it didnt take much, i have no sweets in the house which helps, im still sooo weak when it comes to the sweets!

so hopefully tomorrow i will be back with another great day post!!

the last day of Kaylees kindy (for her) is Monday, ohhh dear, i better get creative with some things to do with her, i (lately) have been relying on Kindy a lot for all her messy play, and i know she is going to get so bored not going there, so i need to start thinking of some things for her to do!

its so wonderfully quiet here, Darryl is at work, the girls are asleep, and im blobbing on the computer, bliss!

So, how am i doing?

I havent been blogging every day like i said i would, i will get there i promise!!

I am trying really hard though, especially with the no sugar thing, its hard, even harder when Darryl comes home with chocolate.... but we will get there!

Ive started using my exersize bike again, aiming for at least half an hour every day, in 10 minute lots to make it more bearable, and increasing as i get fitter.

i was TRYING to be nice and healthy tonight with dinner too, we ordered Hell Pizza, and i thought no, i wont have pizza, i will have a yummy salad (they do great salads!) so i ordered that, but when it arrived there was a big hori fly in my salad! ew! so i didnt get to eat that, talk about nausiating!!

so im still taking it day by day, small steps, but every day i come a little bit further, which is good of course!

im going to aim to lose 20kgs, i desperatly want another tattoo, and i said to Darryl tonight, i can get it when, and only when, i lose that 20kgs, and because i want the tat so much i hope that its enough incentive to lose the weight and keep it off.

Enough is enough!

im fat, i admit that, and i need to do something about it, no more procrastinating, no more bullshit, no more crap food! sure i enjoy it while im eating it, but my skin is suffering, my weight is suffering, i constantly feel bloated and im VERY self consious. so ive had enough and im going to do something about it.

i was going to wait until after Christmas, but then what will happen after Christmas, i will tell myself to wait until after my birthday, then after summer, then oh its winter, time to blob again.

i think not!

so heres what im going to do:

NO more sugar
NO more cakes, donuts, lollies, chocolate, icecreams
NO more chips
NO more takeaways (or at least if i do get takeout, make it sushi or subway or a Hell salad)
GET MY BIG BUTT MOVING!!!

every damn day i have something sweet, and i cant just stop at 1, i have a whole packet of biscuits (between me and Darryl) or a whole bar of chocolate, its just got to stop! its not healthy!

i have such a bad attitude towards food, i use it as comfort, i use it as bribery, i use it as a best friend, but it shits on me because i put on weight, my skin is crap, and its the time of year where i show more skin and i look like Mr Blobby!

not cool!

so ive asked my dr for a "green Prescription" what is this you may ask? its a script for discounted Gym membership, hopefully i will be able to go back to Club Physical and move my big butt!

i have an exersize bike here that is just collecting dust, i need to start using it, we brought it for a reason, and now more than ever i need to use it.

so every day i will be posting on here (well i will try to every day!) what i have eaten, what exercise i have done and how i am feeling

ive started off well today, sultana bran for breakfast, and im going to be having Sushi for lunch (thanks Rochelle!) i just need to plan dinner, maybe a stirfry, or steak and salad, i will see what Darryl feels like when he gets home.

im going to do this, i need to do this, not for anyone else, but for myself, i dont have the excuse of being depressed, i dont have the excuse of the kids taking all my time, because they are in bed by 7 at the latest every night, and its still light enough for me to get out for a walk

i just need to get off my arse and do it

so i will :)

hello!

been keeping pretty busy here which is nice, plodding along with the kids, getting out and about, (although forgetting to keep some appointments... sorry!) its nice to be well and normal again i tell you!

theres lots of things going on in the background that i cant tell you about just yet, but its all very exciting for me and our future, but watch this space, i will tell you all soon!

still doing lots of sewing and crafty work, i sent some things away as part of a Secret Santa swap, which was fun to do, and the recipient was rapt with it all, so that made me happy!

im thinking about taking up quilting too, ive seen some amazing work lately and its got me really inspired, maybe in the New Year i will look at taking it up and seeing what i can do, i dont know where i will find the time with everything else thats going on but i really want to give it a go!

Kaylee has her end of year Kindy Christmas party coming up on Friday, that should be fun, they have been practising lots of songs and it should be very cute seeing them up on stage! i need to take a savoury plate of some sort, so i need to get my thinking cap on to think of something healthy but tasty to take, any ideas? i was thinking of a vege and cracker platter with some hummus, but i will see if i get any better creative ideas!

Olivia is 13mths old now, still not walking yet, and showing no real signs of walking beginning any time soon, still not standing on her own but likes to walk around holding our hands, she will get there eventually im sure.

Christmas is coming! yay! we put our Christmas tree up on the weekend, i cant wait until we put all the presents under it and Kaylee and Olivia can see their gifts, im a bit lost about what to get Olivia, but because shes only little she really wont care what we get her, so we will keep hers small and Kaylee being a bit older will get a bit spoilt i think!

now im going to have a little vent, but again i cant really say much, i just need to get it out, ive been shit on recently by someone i thought i was very close to, obviously they dont care for me as much as i care for them and my feelings just dont matter, which does hurt, and infact it really pisses me off, promises were made and broken and it really just sux

but i guess you get that sometimes! i just need to move on and realise that not everyone has the same priorities in life that i do, and some people make promises but dont have any intention of keeping them. argh! nevermind

oh and ive decided to open up my blog a little, now members of my family and a few friends read this too :) *waves* i bet they will learn more about me than they ever thought they would lol

and im STILL addicted to sugar..... really not doing very well at this, my phsyciatrist weighed me at my last appointment, and i have gained 16kgs in the past 3 months, thats HUGE and soooo not nice, so i really need to kick myself up the butt and get moving again!

lots of exciting things

happening here! i cant say much at the moment, but it involves a new business, and something i am passionate about.... watch this space!! and fingers crossed for me!!

im still doing really well which is awesome, ive definitely got a lot of my confidence back and life really is going my way, perfect in time for christmas!

speaking of christmas, i still havent done any christmas shopping, ok i lie, i have got a couple of things for Kaylee, i walked into the house the other day and the little monkey spied everything straight away, i need to find some hiding places i think!

i had an awesome day yesterday, i met up with an old school friend, someone i havent seen since i was about 14, so about 11 years, she now has 2 beautiful children and we met up at a childrens indoor playground so the kids could play and we could goss, it was so nice and we had heaps to talk about, i really enjoyed it, got to love Bebo and Facebook for reuniting old friends!

im off shortly to my PND support group, its still going every Wednesday and i find it quite helpful and thought provoking, so thats something i guess! its nice going into a room knowing everyone in there has been through what youve been through and understands and can relate to what your saying, has a bit of a calming effect, but i do come home buggered after all the thinking and talking!

im still not doing too well on the no sugar thing, i just cant give it up! but i am trying and every day i seem to be getting better, i just need to get out walking again and really shift these extra kilos, its hard because one of the meds i am on has the side effect of gaining weight, sure it helps my mind, but the weight things really pisses me off, i guess you will never find the perfect drug, but it does get frustrating!

Things i have been doing

ive been sewing up a storm lately! making nappies, skirts for Kaylee and other things (shhh secret santa business!) so i thought i would share a few of the things i have been making :)

things are really good here, have had a busy week going shopping, and visiting and spending quality time with my kids, its been great!

today i met Kate, Amelia and Natalia at the shops for a coffee and a catchup, this will sound really bad but i havent been out before with Kaylee and Olivia (since Olivia was really little anyway) on my own so it was a big thing for me! but we did ok :) it was lovely to go out and about and now that i have done it, i can do it again!

I talked to an old friend today on the phone, had a good hour or so of catching up, she was one of my best friends from primary school and she gave me a call, it was great! gotta love Facebook & Bebo for keeping you in touch with people!

On Tuesday im meeting another old school friend of mine (havent seen her since about 4th form) at Chipmunks for a good catch up, we found each other through Bebo, so that will be cool, im looking foward to that. I absolutly love Bebo, its put me in touch with SO many people from School and college, its lovely to see what everyone is up to and have my old friends be part of my life again, loving it!

im not doing too well on the no sugar thing (says she with a bar of chocolate right now...) but i have increased my fruit and vege intake and my water intake, so i am feeling a bit healthier for it, i just need to get the sweets under control!

anyway here are a couple of cute pics i took of Olivia recently in her flash new nappies :)

have a great weekend!!

xxx