Bad day!!

Im feeling a bit BLAH really, my period is at least 2 days late now, which means that when it does come its going to be heavy and horrible, im feeling all bloated and a wee bit down to be honest. looking after 2 kids is so hard!

I had Georgia again yesterday and her and Kaylee were so naughty! they literally ran to each room and trashed the house, the hit each other, pushed each other, screamed, yelled, tripped each other up, jumped on each other, snached toys, oh my god! i was crazy by the time Georgia left and Darryl got home! they both went down about lunch time (after they refused to eat any!) for 2 hours and i spent that time baking (something i do when im upset) and tidying up their mess, they got up after 2 hours and trashed the house again!!! its not like i didnt do anything with them either! we had a full on day which would have been great if they were well behaved! we drew pictures, played playdoh, went in the sandpit, the water trough (Green thing on a stand with toys in it that i fill with water), we did singing and dancing and read books, i have a rocking seesaw thing that they played on for yonks, so they shouldnt of been bored!! lol

i was SO relieved when Belinda come to get Georgia, who had by then gained a nice temperature and ended up being sick all night with her mum and dad up with her.... a reaction to the MMR vaccination she had recently, Kaylee had the same thing, its a bit icky.

Then i got Kaylee ready for bed, finally starting to calm her down after reading a billion books! Darryl got home from work and as soon as he walked in the door i burst in to tears, i was so relieved to see him! i just let go, he reassured me that yes we will be able to pay the bills and that yes it is still ok to get pregnant as not every day will be like that and all this other stuff that had been just building up came out, so Darryl ordered Pizza Hutt for dinner as neither of us was going to cook at 8pm at night and we sat in the pig sty of my house (which i still havent cleaned!) and ate crap for dinner and just blobbed for the rest of the night.

im quite blocked up with sinus congestion at the moment which isnt helping me at the moment either and it just seems like i cant keep up with the world and i cant get ontop of anything, i clean the house, which takes a couple of hours, the next day it looks like i have done nothing, we try to save and get on top of all our bills, but they are piling up again, i cant go back to work as what i would earn would barely cover Kaylees daycare expenses and petrol, so its not worth it, i thought about doing home care, but after yesterday that has put me off completely, i have a business idea that i would LOVE to do, but have to wait until ALL bills are paid for before i do that as i need capital to go ahead with it, just feeling a little bit lost at the moment as to what my place on this earth is for, im sure i will work it out

i guess really it all comes down to TOTM, i can feel it coming, and like i said its so late, i have ALWAYS had bad periods and i always get so hormonal and emotional and down and nothing seems to go right, and i always look back in a weeks time and wonder about myself, wonder why i got so worked up and so unhappy, but i always do it, every month without fail, just part of getting my monthly i guess, the sooner i get pregnant the better, i cant wait to not have it anymore!!!!!

i love this blog, its my page, i dont really care what anyone else thinks of what i write, as it feels good for me to get it all out and i guess it helps emotionally too as i always feel a little more refreshed afterwards too.

better start on the clean up... then off down the road to get nappies, we are right out! might even go through the drive through coffee down the rd from me and get a nice Mocha or something, a little treat :) ive never been a coffee drinker, but i have been loving it lately, always trim of course!