Ramblings about Depression...

well, i wish they would give me my drugs back....

ive spent the last couple of weeks in a daze, thank god i have an amazing family who have been helping me out (especially Rochelle, give the woman a medal!) im extremelly low, im not coping and im highly irritable. its really not fun.

i had my drs appt today, with a new dr, my appts just seem like a big waste of time, i met a new dr today, but it turns out hes not MY new dr and i wont get to meet the new dr for another couple of weeks, i told them im not coping, that the depression is still strong and that Kaylee has been with Rochelle, Darryl or his parents over the last few days because im not coping, and they basically said 'oh well between you and your friends and family you will have to deal with it, we wont change your meds and will call you next week for followup' its just getting ridiculous now, i mean what are they there for?? because they obviously arent there to help me become well

then my key worker rang me to give me a new appt time with the new dr and i told her that i thought the appt was a waste of my time and what are they going to do to practically help me because again i stressed that i am NOT coping, and she basically told me to give it time, it will come right.... she asked what practical things i had done in the past to come right, and i told her that ive only ever been given drugs, or respite, and its all i know, i mean its been over a year now, i think its obvious that its NOT coming right! its just all SO frustrating.

A positive though is that i went to an appointment the other day at the holistic Medical centre in Pt Chev, they want to find out what is causing the problems, rather than be a sticky plaster for the problems (or the ambulance at the bottom of the cliff) they want to get underneith everything and find out exactly what the cause is and then fix the cause, not the symptoms, FINALLY i have someone listening to me! so i came home with all kinds of vitamins and minerals and i went and had bloods done today, so will go back in a couple of weeks for another appt to go over those, so thats something positive which is nice. i just want to be normal, bubbly, funny, outgoing ME again, and when i finally felt like me again they took my drugs off me telling me i shouldnt be feeling so elevated, but mannn elevated is NICE!