Wednesday - 35 weeks along....

Typing the word WEDNESDAY, have you ever looked at how its spelt? its a bit of a fugly word really, doesnt sound how its spelt at all! (just had to mention!)

Have kept away for a few days (especially yesterday, holy hell you didnt want to know me then!) as ive been terribly up and down emotionally, all sorts of things are going through my head, about the labour and birth, about my weight, about depression, about being a mother to Kaylee and a new baby, about how prepared am i really? and ive really had to sit down and work through some things with myself and with Darryl, i could put it down to my hormones (god knows i have the zits at the moment to show it, holy crap where did they come from!), i could put it down to tiredness, i could put it down to the unknown, and yes, all are factors, but ultimately its still ME its still something that i CAN and SHOULD be able to control. I think im getting there!

ive been really trying lately with food, im feeling terribly blah and frumpy and yuck these last few days, but ive been trying really hard with whats on offer, eliminating of course what im not allowed, and then if you take away whats unhealthy too, well, your not really left with much! but ive always found something quite nice!

At the moment at home my addiction is Honey on Toast (have switched from white bread to Molenberg, not sure if its any better, makes me feel healthier though!) and smoothies, im LOVING my Magic Bullet (the blender kind! mind OUT of the gutter!) and have been having smoothies daily (at lunch) made from banana, milk, strawberry yoghurt and a few frozen berries, VERY nice indeed! ive been trying to make a habit out of having a smoothie daily, to get my calcium up and with the fruit, bananas especially, all those good vitamins and minerals, and as i get closer to giving birth and once ive had baby, add a few more things into them to help my milk supply should i need it.

My midwife came for a visit today, had a good chat to her, she made me feel alot better about heaps of things, so that was good and helpful! ive basically decided that we are now planning a home birth, ive still booked into the hospital, but i would very much prefer to stay home, the further on with this pregnancy i get the more i feel comfortable with my own body and the way it can handle what is upcoming. there will not be a lot of us here when baby is born, havent decided yet what will happen to Kaylee, whether she will go to my SILs or just stay with us, but Darryl will be here, my midwife and a wonderful support person. We will call my mother and i guess depending on her work she may or may not make it, but i feel its more important to have her here after baby is born to help with Kaylee. anyway im measuring 35 cms, which at 35 weeks is just perfect apparently, she still doesnt think its going to be a big baby, just average, hey, im fine with average, you seen the hole its got to come out of??? haha

im having little painful (not too painful, just cramping) braxton hicks quite often now, baby is head right down into the pelvis and what may happen is (fingers crossed!) the painful BHs are helping to start dialate the cervix, so by the time i go into labour i may end up dilated already, lol wishful thinking? hey you never know! The cramps are just like the early labour pains were with Kaylee, but nobody panic! haha everything is just fine! baby is just preparing herself to make her grand (quick!) entrance! your body does some weird shit when your pregnant!

Midwife is back next week for a visit, then i wont see her the week after as shes going overseas, for a week, then i will see her weekly until baby comes.

I am really looking fowards to the birth and labour, i dont know why, of course i know its going to hurt like hell, but i dunno, im just really looking foward to being in labour my way this time, doing what i want to do, in my own home, and of course knowing that all that hard work wont be for nothing, i just cannot wait to meet my new wee girl! and i cant wait until Kaylee meets her sister! i think that would be just too special to miss! (my support person is going to be armed with a camera, so you guys may be able to see some of the less gory shots! - sorry im not gunna put my vagina out there for all to see! ew!)

ive been working on my blog a wee bit too, although you wont see anything yet, im trying to find a new template that suits me more, and wow, there are a LOT of templates out there in google land! ive downloaded a few, but am still a bit iffy about some of them, but once i have found the perfect one, that suits me, right now, your sure to see it!!!!