week 2

this week has been CRAP! i have had major issues with my father (long story, he walked out on the family a few years ago) who decided to call me for the first time in a year this week to let me know that he wont be helping pay for the wedding even though when we got engaged he said "oh i better start saving for the wedding" and when he got his retirement pay out, i was going to get $15,000, then it was $10,000, then it was $5000, then it was nothing cos he spent it all on crap, anyway because he is helping his gf pay for her sons wedding, and the mercedes is costing to much to run and the trip to America they are taking with my 2 sisters next year will cost a bit too, he wont be able to contribute, but he is more than happy to come up AT MY COST!...... yup majorly PISSED OFF here! So i let rip and told him what an irresponcible person he was and he has a responcibility for 4 children, not just 2, and its about time he stepped up and acted like a man and had some responcability etcetcetc, yeah i did my nana. i also told him that its not "if he will be contributing" it is "how much are you contributing you dont have a choice" might seem harsh to some of you, but my daughter is now 16mths old and he has never met her, ive given up being nice to him, it doesnt get me anywhere, he moved and i heard through my sisters, i didnt get any notification or address or ph number, he changed his mobile ph number (the only number i had for him) and didnt tell anyone, even though im 23 i feel so god damn rejected and i have had enough, hence the outburst, i also told him he will be contributing or he will not be coming, i am not paying for his meal and drinks ontop of everything else, once again might seem harsh, but ive had enough.

when i email him i never get him reply, only his gf whom i have never met (who also tried to tell me what kind of wedding i should have and that its too expensive, once again, never met this lady), he makes promises he never keeps, didnt send his Granddaughter (his only one) a christmas present, or even ring to see how her first christmas went, he moved all the way down to Christchurch, and has since moved to wellington, both times i have tried to track him down and had to hear from someone else where he lived. He tried to tell me that it would cost him thousands to come to my wedding, airfares, motel, rental car, etcetc he has known for over 3 years that this day was coming and 3 mths to go he complains about it ARGH! now i know he lied to me too as we have friends coming from Wellington, and even though it is expensive to come up by plane (so not thousands like he said though, i set him straight there!) they are driving up, im so lucky to have good friends who will do that for me, esp when my father wont drive up because it means he has to take a day off work for it, hell in a couple of months he is taking weeks off work for his gfs sons wedding in America, and i am his daughter in Auckland who he cant take the time off to see. sux dont it

anyway, that has set my mood for the week, and my eating for the week, i have been out walking a few times, not every day, i have been busy as well, but the lolly jar has been hit BIG TIME and i just have felt like crap all week. so yes my week 2 was a flop, i gained 600g, i deserve every bit of it, but Dawn (my consultant) was so lovely, i was near in tears because i knew what the scales would say, and she gave me a leafelt on stress, told me what it can do to you, and also told me her dads a bit of a dick too, made me feel so much better

but hey tomorrow is a new day, we will carry on and we will do the best we can with what we have

but god it feels good to get all that out!!!! :p