Just stuff...

I was undecided for the last week whether or not to post, hence no entries on my part, i havent been in the best mood, and didnt want to come across as "poor me" because thats not what i am feeling at all, it has however been like a mini rollercoaster this week of emotions, due to tiredness and exhaustion amongst other things. not to mention the amount of damn "hawkers" coming to my door lately, its driving me crazy! ive had Kirby (vacuum cleaners) 3 times in the last fortnight, tree trimming guys, landscapers, roof restorers, Jehouver wittnesses, Mormons, foot people (cant remember the name for them) its pretty crazy how many i get, i kind of want the mormons back, they were pretty hot... :) and they offered to do my gardening! haha

Olivia is getting pretty terrible with her sleeping, we are taking 1 step foward and 2 steps back at the moment with this bub, i do realise and understand that she is not quite 4 months old yet, and that babies do take time to settle in, but take last night for example, she was awake from 6pm-2.30am, when she (and I!) finally crashed, she was then awake at 5.30am and back asleep at 7am, when of course i had to get up and shower to try and keep awake to be a mummy to Kaylee! (who by the way is on the couch eating muesli bars watching Barney the Dinosaur... its lazy day today and i dont really care!) this has been however the worst night by far, so im hoping that tonight is so much better! but Olivia has been a wee bit unsettled for a good couple of weeks, we got her sleeping right through the night (from 7pm - 6.30am) and it was BLISS! how i wish for that now! but all we can do is keep on truckin!

Olivia was weighed and measured last week (16 weeks) and was 6.1kg and 60cm which is heaps smaller than Kaylee when she was weighed at just before 3 months! its great that Olivia still fits into her teeny clothes, im definitely getting my moneys worth out of them!!! Olivia also rolled for the first time last week, so that was cool, i got pics nearly identical (under the same change mat, both in the nudeys) to when Kaylee first rolled (however Kaylee rolled at 9 weeks, Olivia at 15)

Kaylee however is being brilliant with her toilet training, apart from #2s she hasnt had an accident for over a week now, its just happened so quickly and she is VERY independant with it all, its great! my little bubba isnt a bubba anymore! *sob* her speech is amazing too, very little gabble now, unless she is talking on the phone, and she has beautiful manners compared to other children (some) that i know, always uses please and thank you, sometimes needs a wee reminder, but is generally pretty good at it, just have to teach her "excuse me" because she is constantly butting in, one step at a time!!!

I unfortunatly had one of my cats put to sleep on Monday, it was heart wrenching for me to make that decision, and i hated the idea of it (still do) but she had been ill for a while, the vets was costing a small fortune, and she just wasnt getting any better, had even stopped grooming herself, she was so vulnerable to all the other neighbourhood cats, but hated being inside all the time, the last straw for me was when she was attacked by a neighbours cat and scratched right on her eye, it got infected (esp with this heat!) very very quickly and she was in a lot of pain, that and everything else that was wrong with her, basically made the decision for me. but i hate the feeling that i had, i hate that i made the decision to effectively kill one of my beloved family members, it really hurts me that i couldnt do anything more for her. sux.

ive eaten nothing but shit for the past week, pizza twice, loads of white starchy carbs, chocolate, chips, lollies, ive been very silly, and regretted every bit i have put in my mouth, but havent been able to stop myself, however i went food shopping yesterday, did not buy lollies, or chocolate, or chips, god fruit and veggies and salad, healthy muesli bars, yoghurts, lean meat (apart from chicken wings) and basmati rice. $102 was my shopping bill for the week, at a more expensive supermarket too (countdown) as pak n save was blocked by an accident. i feel bloated i feel gross, my skin is disgusting, my hair is horrid (however i have an appt on Sunday - cant wait! pamper session!!!)

so yes, im hoping for a much easier and better week from today, im hoping to be back in a couple of days with a more positive and upbeat post.

xxx